I am not a big fan of New Year's resolutions. They should be called intentions (like in yoga), which is different from a goal or a promise. I think that the reason most people fail at keeping resolutions is that their hearts are just not in it. It's what you're 'supposed' to do at the end of every year. I am the first to admit annoyance at the throngs of people crowding my gym on January 1st with the #1 resolution of all time - to get into shape. Don't get me wrong, I truly hope that they stick with it. Sadly, few do.
Each year on December 31st I make my list of resolutions, and often I tape them up on my bathroom mirror. As such, they are staring me in the face multiple times a day. How long does that paper stay intact? Not as long as I would hope, unfortunately. So this year I am putting my New Year's INTENTIONS out there for the world to see. I hope this will make me more accountable to myself, especially when others who read my blog ask "hey, how's that ----- going?"
It's quite an extensive list this year, b/c let's face it, I can be one messed up gal.
1. "No phone, mommy! No phone!". It's time to unattach myself to this God-blessed iPhone. Seriously. There is no need for me to be checking email, texts, and Facebook every 30 seconds. I came to this realization recently when my 22 month old daughter tried to pry the phone out of my hand as I was halfheartedly helping her with a puzzle. Information is at our fingertips these days, literally. We don't have to run out to buy a newspaper or even to check out a book at the library. How many of us make phone calls instead of sending a quick text? Is it THAT satisfying to click all those icons? For me, well yes it is. But not at the expense of precious time with my family.
2. "I can't believe I ate that". Ugh. This is a BIG one for me. I am sure that the majority of folks including myself have daily mental discussions about food - what I ate too much of, why I ate it, how I'll do better tomorrow. It is difficult for me to admit this in writing, but, these thoughts fill my brain on an hourly basis. I want to learn to enjoy my food more. To stop eating when I am full. To not hoover down a box of pop tarts when my work day goes into the toilet. To know that it's okay to eat a red velvet cupcake instead of 50 grapes that just aren't doing the trick when I want something sweet. I need to use my daughter as a model. She eats what she wants, when she is hungry, and stops when she is full. She asks for sweets daily (dad's fault) - sometimes she gets them, sometimes she doesn't. And she is okay with it. Food issues are a big negative in my life, and honestly I will probably continue to struggle long after 2012 has begun. Now that being said...
3. Stop being a garbage can. In other words, start making smarter, cleaner eating choices. It is not always good to be consuming vast amounts of fat, sugar and (yes) booze. All things in moderation.To put it simply, I am going to make an effort to eat more protein, whole grains, fruits and veggies. I know from past experience that when I really stick to a healthier eating lifestyle, I feel better. When I feel better, I am a nicer person. And everyone benefits from that LOL.
4. Be nicer to my husband. Um yeah, I can be a real bitch sometimes. And poor Mark often finds himself in my crosshairs. Most of the time it's not even him that has pushed my buttons. He is such a good guy - an amazing father and adoring husband who deserves to get the best of me, not the shoddy leftovers at the end of a hard day. I used to be a very touchy, affectionate person, and I am not sure when that behavior stopped (or why). But I need to make an effort every day to let him know how much he is loved and appreciated.
5. LEARN TO LET GO of issues & situations beyond my control. I have been working on this one for the past couple of years. Yoga has helped. But I need to take the lessons off of my mat, out of the studio, and into the real world. The time has come for me to practice more patience - with my family, co-workers, and most of all, myself. I am a self-confessed perfectionist who expects the moon from everyone b/c I always do my best to deliver it myself. I want to be the best mom, the best yogi, the fastest spinner, the hardest worker...and it makes me and everyone around me nuts at times.
It all comes back to priorities, and more importantly, what I will be remembered for at the end of my life. Will it be that I could do a headstand? Get into a size 0 pair of designer jeans? God I hope not (although at times those trivial things seems vastly important). When it all comes down to it, how will I leave my mark on the world? I'm asking you...because I still have no idea. I heard it in an Aerosmith song - "life's a journey, not a destination". So in 2012, I hope to start leaving permanent footprints as I go.