I was rolling along pretty nicely with this new clean-er eating plan. I even took a 3 day work trip and managed to avoid most pitfalls (I limited my alcohol consumption, I had only one dessert the entire time). But then something happened. Some trigger that sent me face planting into a box of frosted cherry pop tarts. And a bag of Reese's Cups. And a box of cookies. I could go on. Seriously, I could go on.
It dawned on me (yes, I have a college degree, two actually) that I am an emotional eater. I always had this tidbit of information in the back of my mind, but it really came full circle this week. I was mad, I wanted to eat. I was happy, I wanted to eat. I was tired, I wanted to eat. And I did. And unfortunately I did not reach for an apple or some greek yogurt (still hate it, by the way, no matter how much Splenda I add). My mom was an emotional eater. I remember finding her up at 3 a.m. during my parent's divorce knee deep in a carton of Breyer's ice cream. Unfortunately, she has struggled with her weight ever since. And I have watched that struggle with the fear that history will repeat itself.
The really interesting thing here is that I FEEL like shit when I eat like shit. The good sugary chocolate stuff did not make me feel any better, physically or emotionally. In fact, I have been a slug all week. I have been struggling through my morning workouts. And frankly, I have been a BITCH to live with b/c deep down, I know I need to do better. For myself.
Now I could (and have) blamed my husband for bringing home that box of Krispy Kremes or that bag of mint MnMs (my absolute fave at Christmas). And in all honesty, I do think it's kind of a shithead thing to do to your wife who is trying to clean up her eating habits. BUT - at the end of the day, I am responsible for my own actions. While he may have put the goodies at eye level for me, he did not force them down my throat. I did that to myself.
So it is with renewed resolve that I vow to start my clean-er eating habits again. I have a grocery list in hand and plan to head out to Whole Foods to stock my pantry anew. Now I must confess that I am attending a party tonight with an "all things peppermint" theme (you're jealous, I can tell), so this new plan will start...well, tomorrow. I mean really. How can I NOT indulge in a chocolate peppermint martini? 'Tis the season. Hell yeah it is. So wish me luck.