Friday, December 16, 2011

Clean-ER Eating, Weeks 2 and 3 - Um, Well....

I was rolling along pretty nicely with this new clean-er eating plan.  I even took a 3 day work trip and managed to avoid most pitfalls (I limited my alcohol consumption, I had only one dessert the entire time).  But then something happened.  Some trigger that sent me face planting into a box of frosted cherry pop tarts.  And a bag of Reese's Cups.  And a box of cookies.  I could go on.  Seriously, I could go on.

It dawned on me (yes, I have a college degree, two actually) that I am an emotional eater.  I always had this tidbit of information in the back of my mind, but it really came full circle this week.  I was mad, I wanted to eat.  I was happy, I wanted to eat.  I was tired, I wanted to eat.  And I did.  And unfortunately I did not reach for an apple or some greek yogurt (still hate it, by the way, no matter how much Splenda I add).  My mom was an emotional eater.  I remember finding her up at 3 a.m. during my parent's divorce knee deep in a carton of Breyer's ice cream.  Unfortunately, she has struggled with her weight ever since.  And I have watched that struggle with the fear that history will repeat itself.

The really interesting thing here is that I FEEL like shit when I eat like shit.  The good sugary chocolate stuff did not make me feel any better, physically or emotionally.  In fact, I have been a slug all week.  I have been struggling through my morning workouts.  And frankly, I have been a BITCH to live with b/c deep down, I know I need to do better.  For myself. 

Now I could (and have) blamed my husband for bringing home that box of Krispy Kremes or that bag of mint MnMs (my absolute fave at Christmas).  And in all honesty, I do think it's kind of a shithead thing to do to your wife who is trying to clean up her eating habits.  BUT - at the end of the day, I am responsible for my own actions.  While he may have put the goodies at eye level for me, he did not force them down my throat.  I did that to myself. 

So it is with renewed resolve that I vow to start my clean-er eating habits again.  I have a grocery list in hand and plan to head out to Whole Foods to stock my pantry anew.   Now I must confess that I am attending a party tonight with an "all things peppermint" theme (you're jealous, I can tell), so this new plan will start...well, tomorrow.    I mean really.  How can I NOT indulge in a chocolate peppermint martini?  'Tis the season.  Hell yeah it is.  So wish me luck. 

2 comments:

  1. YOU CAN DO IT! (CHOCOLATE cupcake with peppermint!)

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  2. Not to get all 'trainer' on you - but the more you experiment with clean-er eating and find foods you enjoy (instead of tolerating ones that you think are less nasty), the easier this will be. Instead of 'face down' in pop-tarts, you might have one every month or two. Instead of handfuls of M&M's, you will be able to have a couple and stop. Feeling a sense of enjoyment from food, not just pride over conquering the physical act of eating more clean foods, is the key. Looks like you have got great motivation and a good support system - looking forward to reading on!

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